Life events such as, marital conflict, loss of a relationship, a move, death, divorce, illness, job loss, alcohol, drugs or some other devastating event can hurl us out of our comfortable surroundings and into a therapist’s office. We may feel frightened, angry, depressed, helpless, and confused about where to turn next.
Through social programming and life events, we adopted certain beliefs in order to survive. For the most part, our family of origin issues and past events shape the beliefs we adopted about our self, others, and the world we live in. These beliefs formed our pattern of feeling, thinking and behaviors. The decisions we made to survive determined our extreme personality traits, whether positive or negative, and the quality of the life we have created.
Is it filled with happiness
We are not our thoughts ! Our minds and the thoughts we hear in our heads are limited and very well defended. Like a computer, our mind is programmed to survive and only knows what has been programmed into it. By recognizing that our minds are not who we are, we step out of the box. We can then separate from our thoughts, look at them from a compassionate adult’s perspective, and change them if they no longer serve us. We programmed ourselves by the survival decisions we had to make. Now, we can re-program them, by updating our software and adding new memory, such as, self-empowering affirmations. When we change our perceptions about our self, others and the world, we change how we think, feel, and behave, and hopefully, we create a better World. What a wonderful plan God has for us and he has given us everything we need to make it happen!
What is the role of the therapist? An effective therapist is a confirmer of people’s strengths and a compassionate witness to their stories. The therapist acts as a loving and observing guide. S/he creates safe space to help the client to go within themselves to face their fears and confusion and assume a more responsible and compassionate role in how they choose to relate to themselves and to others. In addition, the therapist may recommend using tools like journaling, homework assignments, handouts, books, or support groups. For some, medication may also be an option.
How does therapy help? The therapist helps the client to connect with their true inner Self (the inner observer) to harness their will power and their inner strengths and resources to create more of what they want and deserve. The Wizard from Oz, like a good therapist, knows that the answers are within the client, not the therapist. The therapist helps us to go beyond the confines of the mind to connect with who we really are. When we connect to our intuitive, creative, compassionate Self, we open to new possibilities. We may choose to un-install virus infected programs that make us Feel Stupid, Fearful, Unlovable, Shameful, Rageful, or Helpless and install software programs that are empowering, such as, Love, Forgiveness, Gratefulness, Kindness, Self Power, etc. By choosing to change our negative programming, we protect the integrity of our minds, our relationships and our World. This is the place where miracles happen and magic is created. These changes can occur quickly and are effective over time and they can generalize to all parts of our lives.
| If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him by Sheldon Kopp
Breaking Free from the Victim Trap, Diane Zimberoff, MA (1-800-32-4418)
Working Ourselves to Death and the Rewards of Recovery, Diane Fassel
Co-dependent No More, Melody Beattie
Adult Children of Alcoholics, Claudia Black
Starting Over, John Gray
The Courage to Heal (from sexual abuse), Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing, Susan Anderson
I Don’t Want to Talk About It (for Men), Terrence Real
Death of a Hero, Birth of the Soul: Answering the call of Midlife (for men),
John C. Robinson
The Five People You Meet In Heaven (death & dying), Mitch Albom
How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously, Jerrold Mundis
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A Family Counselor Marriage and Family Counseling from GLORY JORDAN LCSW, DCSW, CHT Director and Licensed Clinical Social Worker Board Certified Diplomate